Tutorial

3.1

An example session

With this chapter, you begin the third and final section of our tutorial. It will get you started with doing your own sessions upon yourself, so you can begin to make the progress that you seek.

Let’s start

One of the easiest ways to learn something is to see someone else do it. So, I will show you what a full-length session looks like.

Illustration

For this, we’ll recruit a volunteer, Mark. He is 28 years old and lives in America.

About Mark

He is married, has a small boy, and works in retail. He grew up in a small town farming community. He has never had major health problems, other than being overweight and having some past periods of depression.

Mark is clever though, so clever, that he’s found and learned Self-Rewiring – just like you! He’s been performing sessions on himself for a few weeks now. Let’s spy on him and see what session he’s doing today.

Mark wants to perform a session on his life-long problem: an obsession with doughnuts. He wants to lose weight and be more healthy, but he struggles with a strong emotional connection to doughnuts and other junk food.

He’s already done a few sessions on this before. This will be the fourth one on this topic.

Beginning his session

To begin, Mark clicks on the “ Session” link at the top of this website. He sees the following screen (shown below), titled Your subject.

Obeying the instructions, he finger-tests and his body chooses the last option, “My personality”.

So then he finger-tests all the personality traits that are listed, looking for the one his body feels is the most relevant right now. His body chooses “My self-identity and social place”.

Mark has gone through this tutorial and can roughly remember what the personality traits are about. He also read the brain areas article that describes them in depth. Indeed, his body has chosen this personality trait a few times before!

So he clicks to select “My self-identity and social place” and its description appears underneath. If he wants to, he can click to highlight portions of the description that he feels have a special meaning to him. One sentence does feel important to him, so he clicks it. You can see it below highlighted in blue.

Your subject

Subject

  1. Test, “Reveal what to rewire: A specific event, An individual, A situation, or My personality.”
  1. Test, “Reveal the subject I need to do...”

Knowing who you are and know where you ‘fit in’ with others.

For example, do you feel isolated from your own gender, age group, your peers, or your culture?

Do you feel out-of-place or “different”?

Do you know who you are, and what you are?

Do you fit inside your own body, life, and existence?

These are based on brain areas. What you select or type will appear on your list of sessions.

Tags

Optional. Tag this session to help track what you’re working on. Test if unsure.

(you are not logged in)

Tags you’ve used before:

(you are not logged in)

To Mark, his obsession with doughnuts does indeed have a lot to do with his ‘self identity’. Ever since he was a child growing up in his rural American town, he was the “fat” kid who was never great at sports. He thinks about this for a moment, and realises that, yes, it really does feel like his “social place” is to remain “the fat kid”. He feels that it’s his fate to be fat. He can’t even imagine being any other way!

In the description of the brain area, the words “Do you know who you are, and what you are?” were particularly meaningful to him. Why?

He casts his mind back to when he was a child, sitting in a typical American diner with other kids. It’s a Saturday afternoon, and a group from school is eating lunch in the diner after baseball practice. Despite not being very athletic, he also played on the team.

All the other kids would have their normal meals, but Mark would have twice as much food as everyone else. He was the stereotypical “fat kid” all right! On the baseball team he was nicknamed ‘the heavy slugger’. This was his ‘place’, how he fit in with everyone else. He doesn’t really know how he could fit in any other way.

As the brain area description rhetorically asks, “Do you know who you are, and what you are?” He supposes that the answer is “No”. Other than being the “fat kid”, of course, he has no idea who or what he could be.

He’s pleased to see that, once again, the Finger-Testing has got it right. He is always amazed at how the Finger-Testing and this therapy can quickly “hit the nail on the head”!

He clicks “Begin session” and the session starts. He now sees the familiar menu:

What do I need now?

Test, “Reveal what I need...”

Mark tests the above options. To save time, he tests them in groups by looking at all the options on each line and testing the entire line together. First line 1, then line 2, then line 3. His body reacts on line 3.

So he tests the options on line 3 individually: “Reveal which: Feelings, Desires, Thoughts, Emotions.” His body reacts when he reads “Thoughts”.

He clicks on “Thoughts” and sees that menu:

Thoughts

Test, “Reveal which...”

These lists help reveal what thoughts are contributing to your issue. See what’s stopping you from growing out of your issue (“Where I’m stuck”), such as personality traits (“My personality traits”), beliefs about yourself (“Beliefs about myself”), aspects of your culture (“My cultures expectations”), and decisions you’ve made or need to make (“Decisions I’ve made”).

The Thoughts menu is one that Mark has used many times before. In earlier sessions he learned a lot about himself from the options in this menu. He’s learned from the “Where I’m stuck” option that he’s been stuck where he is, not allowing himself to change or to even think of himself any differently. He’s learned from the “Decisions” option that a long time ago he decided not to fight or struggle against his ‘fate’.

He wonders what he may learn about himself today.

So he tests the five options in the list. His body reacts on “My cultures expectations”. Immediately a shiver goes up his back! Such reactions usually mean the therapy has touched an emotional nerve. Yes, the therapy seems to always dig in deep and get you where it hurts.

He clicks “My cultures expectations” and sees this menu:

My cultures expectations (1 of 3)

What’s this?

Your culture expects certain things from you; how to dress, act, and feel; it even dictates your likes and dislikes. Further, if you rebel against it, you may face ridicule, or if you can’t live up to its expectations, you may feel bad. Culture can contribute to your issues, or hinder you growing out of them.

  1. Test, “Reveal what kind...”

The first thing it asks is for Mark to choose the correct list. There are three. As a male, he nearly always thinks his body should choose the one called “For males”, but he remembers that the body can actually choose any of the three. After all, if it chose “For females” it might be because his body wants to consider what he expects of others, not necessarily what others expect of him.

He finger-tests the list and to his surprise, it chooses “For everyone”, the more generic list. Here it is:

My cultures expectations (2 of 3)

  1. Test, “Reveal what expectation of my culture I need to look at. I must...”

Mark suspects that something revealing is about to come up. It doesn’t always, of course, but it does often enough to brace oneself for it. He takes a deep breath, and begins to test the list.

He tests the options in groups of 4. Indeed, that’s why they’re visually arranged that way – to make things easier.

He tests the first group, then the second, and just before he’s about to test the third, he notices that his body has already reacted on the second group. So his body must want one of the options in there.

The four options are:

  • “Have the correct background”
  • “Follow the right entertainment”
  • “Be suitably wealthy”, and
  • “Have the right home”.

His body reacts very strongly on the first one – his thumb flicks out with such force that his arm throws straight out in front of him! “Clearly that’s the right one,” he chuckles to himself. So he ticks the box next to it.

He’s a bit surprised by this choice. “Have the correct background”. What could that mean? He thinks to himself for a moment and is puzzled. “I don’t see anything wrong with my background?” he wonders to himself. So he asks his body, “Reveal if this is correct: Yes, No, Maybe.” His body says “Yes”, again very strongly.

Thinking about it further, he remembers what he’s learned in previous sessions, how he feels stuck where he is, how he can’t think of himself any differently other than being a fat redneck. Heavy slugger, the nickname he had on the baseball team comes to mind. ‘Oh yes, of course’ he says to himself, “I do have the correct background, because everyone expected me to be the fat redneck kid. I was where I should be, I was in my place!”

A feeling of realisation flows over him like a wave. “It’s so obvious now” he thinks. Yes, not only was Mark happy to be the fat redneck kid, but everyone around him was too. He was the butt of jokes, he was good ’ole reliable Mark. Fat Mark. Heavy Slugger. From the working class family that will never be anything else.

“Yes,” he thinks, “my body isn’t saying that I wasn’t from the correct background, it’s saying that I was! I fit the mould everyone wanted me to fit! And that’s the problem!”

Before continuing, he asks his body to reveal if there’s any other option he needs to choose from this list. He quickly looks over the other options and tests, “Reveal if there is anything else: Yes, No, Maybe.” His body says “No”.

So he clicks on “Continue” and is presented with this:

My cultures expectations (3 of 3)

Agree?

  1. Test, “Reveal if I agree with this expectation / these expectations...”

Can you comply?

  1. Test, Reveal if I feel able to comply with this expectation / these expectations...”

Yes, now he has to ask his body the question, “Reveal if I agree with this expectation”. Just reading the question makes him tense up inside! A lot of emotion from his childhood is being brought up now and is mixing around like agitated water in a cup.

He takes a deep breath to calm himself.

Then he asks his body the question, “Reveal if I agree with this expectation: Yes, No, ...” and his body indicates on “No”. So he clicks the “No” option.

He stops for a moment to think about what his body just said. “It’s said that my background and everything about me is how I should be, and I don’t agree with that expectation”. He thinks about all the times people have looked down on him for who he is and where he comes from. All the times he’d seen other people become successful, leave town, go to college, or move on to get a good job somewhere else, while he stays where he is, thinking that he was nothing compared to everyone else.

“Except for eating doughnuts at the diner with all my friends”, he thought. “That’s when I have good times and everyone likes me. Where I’m comfortable. Even happy at times.”

Yes, Mark does not agree with these expectations for him. It’s what everyone around him wants him to be, expects him to be, but he just feels like he has no choice in the matter. He feels trapped. Frustrated.

Moving on to the next question, he tests, “Reveal if I feel able to comply with this expectation: Yes ...” and immediately his body reacts on “Yes”.

“Of course I am!” he shouts to himself, “It’s all I know! And I’m damn good at it! I’m great at being a fat redneck who’ll never be as good as everyone else!”

Feeling that he’s realised something important, he clicks the “ Add Note” link at the bottom of the session page, and this note box appears, in which he types the following:


Having written his note, he scrolls back up a little bit to click the “Done” button. He now finds himself back at the What do I need now? menu.

What do I need now?

Test, “Reveal what I need...”

Testing the list again, this time his body chooses the second line, the line with three categories of techniques – shown with the wrench icon. Narrowing it down, his body chooses the “Physical” techniques, so he clicks it.

He now sees the Physical techniques menu.

Mark knows from experience that when his body chooses a physical technique, it’s usually to help him get over something, or to release stress on a matter. Considering how much stress just came up before, one of these techniques will feel very welcome!

Physical techniques

Test, “Reveal which...”

These six techniques are designed to change your feelings through your physical body. They work by disrupting or muddling your normal way of thinking and feeling, helping you to ‘snap out’ of your current thinking pattern, so you can consider new possibilities.

He tests the six options, and his body chooses “ Tap my skin”, so he clicks that and the instructions for that technique appear:

Tap my skin

What’s this?

Repeatedly tapping your skin while thinking of a feeling or issue helps to shake up a fixed way of thinking. It helps the mind break out of a set mindset and move on.

What to think about?

  1. Think, what do you need to think about? Is it your issue in general, something revealed earlier, or something more specific?
  2. Test, “Reveal if that’s it: Yes, No, Maybe.” If not, try again. If yes, type it below:

Tap where?

  1. Test, “Reveal which area of my body to tap: Upper body, Lower body.”
  2. Then keep testing to find out exactly what to move. For example, if the answer was “Upper body”, you can test for your face, shoulders, chest, or arms. When located, type it below:

Start tapping

  1. Repeatedly tap on the area while thinking of the issue. Do it until it’s difficult to keep the thought in mind.
  2. Had enough? Test, “Reveal if that’s enough: Yes, No, Maybe.” If not, do it a little more; if yes, take a deep breath.

Reading through the instructions, he must work out what he should be thinking about while doing the technique. This technique is one of Mark’s favourites. As it just involves thinking of your issue or bad feeling while tapping, it doesn’t require much effort. “This will be a relief” he comments to himself.

He assumes that he should be thinking about the realisation he just had before, but he can’t be sure, so he asks his body. “Reveal if I just need to think about what I just discovered: Yes, No, Maybe.” His body surprises him by saying “Maybe”.

“Hmmm”, he wonders. “What could that mean?” Does it mean he’s supposed to think of something else entirely? Well, no, if that were the case, his body would have answered “No”. By saying “Maybe” it implies that he’s on the right lines, but that he needs to be more specific.

So he tests, “Reveal if I need to think of a specific part of what I just learned: Yes, No, Maybe”. Without hesitation, his body reacts on “Yes”. But what? Earlier he realised a few things. He lists them in his mind:

  • I realised that I must play the role others expect me to play.
  • I realised that I can play this role very well.
  • I realised that I don’t agree with it.

So which one of these should he be thinking about when doing this technique? He asks his body: “Reveal if it’s one of these aspects I just thought about: Yes, No, Maybe.” His body says “Yes”.

So he narrows it down. “Reveal if it’s: that I must play this role, that I can play this role very well, ...” Now his body reacts. “Yes!” he thinks to himself, “I need to think about the fact that I can play the role of this fat-redneck-that-no-one-exects-anything-more-of very well indeed!”

So Mark types this in the box provided and continues following the instructions, which ask him to identify where on his skin he should be tapping. His body reacts on the idea of him tapping his upper chest, so he types that in too.

This is what Mark typed:

Tap my skin

What’s this?

Repeatedly tapping your skin while thinking of a feeling or issue helps to shake up a fixed way of thinking. It helps the mind break out of a set mindset and move on.

What to think about?

  1. Think, what do you need to think about? Is it your issue in general, something revealed earlier, or something more specific?
  2. Test, “Reveal if that’s it: Yes, No, Maybe.” If not, try again. If yes, type it below:

Tap where?

  1. Test, “Reveal which area of my body to tap: Upper body, Lower body.”
  2. Then keep testing to find out exactly what to move. For example, if the answer was “Upper body”, you can test for your face, shoulders, chest, or arms. When located, type it below:

Start tapping

  1. Repeatedly tap on the area while thinking of the issue. Do it until it’s difficult to keep the thought in mind.
  2. Had enough? Test, “Reveal if that’s enough: Yes, No, Maybe.” If not, do it a little more; if yes, take a deep breath.

Mark does the technique, tapping on his upper chest while thinking “I’m just a fat redneck; no one expects anything more.” over and over again for a few minutes.

As he’s doing it, a few different fleeting thoughts and images from his past pass through his mind automatically. The old diner he used to eat in as a child. Doughnuts and other comfort foods. Past people he’s known from school and his workplace. Family members whom he felt looked down on him.

However, these thoughts are only brief. He doesn't have time to think them over, and indeed, that’s not the point of this technique. It’s just to keep the phrase in mind for as long as you can.

Doing that soon becomes difficult for Mark. It becomes harder to repeat the phrase in his mind and still while feeling their impact. After two or three minutes, it feels almost impossible to keep the phrase or the feeling in mind. His mind starts to wander. So, he stops.

Following the instructions, he tests, “Reveal if that’s enough: Yes, No, Maybe.” His body seems to react on “Yes”, but he can’t be sure. So he rephrases it a bit and tests, “Reveal if I need to stop: Yes, No, Maybe.” and this time the body answers “Yes” more clearly.

So he clicks “Done”, and returns to What do I need now?. He feels a bit better somewhat, but not sure exactly in what way or why. The things he was thinking about now feel like they matter a bit less.

What do I need now?

Test, “Reveal what I need...”

Testing “Reveal what I need...” again, this time his body indicates on the 4th, last, line. So he tests the two options, “Something else” and “End session”. His body reacts on “End session”.

He’s a little surprised to think that his session could be over so soon, but recently his sessions have been getting shorter and shorter. When Mark first started, his sessions seemed to take forever, and he was constantly unsure of his Finger-Testing answers. He kept checking and re-checking his answers until he’d get all muddled and had to take a break and start over.

However, recently he’s become more confident, and the sessions have become quicker and quicker. They also seem to get to the point more quickly, as had happened this time too.

Sure, he didn’t learn much that was new in this session. This was more a continuation of what he had learned before, but that’s fine. Self-Rewiring is a marathon, not a race. “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, he mutters to himself.

Anyway, happy that this has been yet another quick-and-to-the-point session, he clicks “End session” and sees the End session menu:

End session

Test, “Reveal what I need to end the session...”

Looking at this menu, he feels a little apprehensive at seeing the Get homework option. He always does. He hated homework as a child, and just seeing the word makes him cringe, even though he knows that the Self-Rewiring “homework” is nothing at all like the real homework from school.

Anyway, he follows the instructions and tests, “Reveal what I need to end the session...” and tests each of the three items.

And... nothing. No reaction. At all.

“I’ve probably stressed myself out by looking at the homework button”, he thinks to himself. So he shakes his arms, takes a deep breath, and reaches out to take a sip of water from a nearby glass. Mark has learned to appreciate having a tall glass of cool water at hand whenever doing a session. It seems to really help him relax again if a session touches a raw nerve, as it did today.

Putting the glass back down, he shakes his arms and hands once more, and retests the question. “Reveal what I need to end the session...” and tests the three options. Drinking the water must have worked, because his body now cooperates and chooses “ End session now”. Mark breathes out with relief.

He clicks that option and sees the final screen, the One-line summary.

One-line summary

One-line summary

  1. To end your session, think what you’ve learned and want to take away from this session.
  2. Then type it below.

Mark must briefly describe what he’s learned or wants to take away from his session. The trouble is, getting all stressed out and drinking that water has made him forget what he learned. Feelings and thoughts can come at you very fast in this therapy. It’s sometimes difficult to remember precisely what you were thinking and feeling just a few moments ago.

To remind himself, Mark clicks the “ Overview” link at the bottom of the page. An automatically generated summary of everything he did in the session appears on the screen:

Session overview

Subject:

My self-identity and social place

My cultures expectations

I must...

  • Have the correct background

Do I agree with this/these: No.

Am I able to comply with this/them: Yes.

I can only be what everyone expects me to be!

Tap my skin

While thinking about “I’m just a fat redneck; no one expects anything more.”, I tapped my “Upper chest”.

Mark quickly reads it over and reminds himself of everything he was thinking and feeling.

Mulling it over in his mind, he first starts to type “I can’t be anything more than what I am.”

However, as he begins to type, he decides that this is not what he really wants to take away from the session. It’s too negative. By saying “I can’t”, that implies that nothing will ever change! That is not what Mark believes.

It’s important to take something positive away from a session. After all, if you go to a shop to buy something, you want to buy something you enjoy, need, or something that will make your life easier. You don’t come away with something awful that you hate, or something that makes your life worse! So, thinking about it a bit more, he decides to put a more positive spin on it.

He types, “I can be whoever I want to be”.

One-line summary

One-line summary

  1. To end your session, think what you’ve learned and want to take away from this session.
  2. Then type it below.

It’s not a requirement to finger-test to see if this is correct, but Mark has got into the habit of doing so anyway. So he tests himself, “Reveal if this is correct: Yes, No, Maybe” and his body reacts on “Yes”.

Mark clicks “Done”, and his session is complete:

Session Complete

Congratulations, you have completed your session!

Excellent! Mark has completed another session! He can now feel pleased with himself. Yet again, he’s made a little bit of progress with Self-Rewiring.

Do you remember how initially Mark wanted to work on his obsession with doughnuts? Would you have guessed that the session would have gone this way? Yes, sessions can go off into some surprising directions!

How can we know that Mark was really helped by this session? Well, thanks to Finger-Testing, we know it was correct, because the world’s foremost expert on Mark told us it was right – Mark’s own body!

Do a fake session

Try this. Go to the session page and perform a fake session.

Click the different options, look around, play. Then end the session. It’s only pretend, so you don’t need to use Finger-Testing.

Please go to the session page now and have fun!

What’s next

I hope reading through this example session has helped you to understand what a session is like, what thoughts and feelings may pass through your mind as you’re doing it, and what difficulties may arise during it.

Next I’ll answer the most common questions about performing sessions.