Tutorial

2.7

The lists (part two)

In this chapter, we’ll complete our look at this line of buttons...

...looking at the last two: Thoughts and Emotions.

Why do we have these categories?

We all have certain feelings, and we also have certain desires. However, sometimes our personality is based on how we’ve thought about things. For example:

  • We’ve made decisions.
  • We have certain beliefs.
  • Other people expect things of us.
  • We feel that certain ways of doing things are right and wrong.

If we overlooked all of these things, our therapy wouldn’t be much good. It would be like reading an instruction manual that has some of the most important pages missing. Instead, all of these things can be found and chosen by your body in Self-Rewiring.

Thoughts

This is the Thoughts category.

Thoughts

Test, “Reveal which...”

These lists help reveal what thoughts are contributing to your issue. See what’s stopping you from growing out of your issue (“Where I’m stuck”), such as personality traits (“My personality traits”), beliefs about yourself (“Beliefs about myself”), aspects of your culture (“My cultures expectations”), and decisions you’ve made or need to make (“Decisions I’ve made”).

The thoughts category has five lists. I’ll introduce you to each of them very briefly.

“Where I’m stuck” is just a small list of three things. But they’re very special. This list is designed to help you see where you’re stuck in your progress; to see why you’re not making progress with your therapy.

This is the list:

Illustration
  • Accept: I do not fully accept that I have this issue at this time
  • Admit: I do not fully admit, or concede, that this issue needs to change
  • Allow: I do not fully allow this issue to change

There’s a good reason that this list exists. If we want to change something, we must all go through this three-step process – whether we realise it or not.

  • First you have to accept that you have the issue. After all, if you don’t even accept that you have a problem, or if you are pretending that it’s not as serious as it really is, then you will either never do anything about it, or never do enough!
  • Secondly, you must admit that the problem needs to change. Yes, someone could say, “sure, I have this problem”, but whether they feel they should give it up or grow out of it -- well, that’s another matter.
  • Finally, you must allow it to change. Accepting you have an issue, and knowing you ought to do something about it are all very good -- but if you’re secretly not allowing it to change, well, then you will get nowhere!

So this list encourages you to see where you’re stuck, to be aware of it, and to then make a positive choice to view things differently.

“My personality traits” is a simple list of common personality traits.

Personality traits are neither good or bad. They are all neutral. For example, if someone is naturally confident, well that could be good for them in certain jobs, but it also might make them more likely to take on too much responsibility and burn out!

So this list asks your body to choose the trait (or traits) that are important in that moment, then it asks your body to reveal if the traits...

  1. “are part of the problem” (expressing the trait is making the situation worse) or,
  2. “could help me solve the problem” (if you expressed this trait more)

“Beliefs about myself” is a simple list of small phrases you may say to yourself to condemn yourself or to cast a judgement on yourself.

For example:

  • “I must be perfect”
  • “No one wants me”
  • “I am better than everyone else”

These are all beliefs a person may have. This list helps you to become aware of beliefs that may be ‘pulling the strings’ behind your issue without you realising it. Sometimes, we are not fully aware of what we truly believe about ourselves.

“My cultures expectations” is actually three small lists, one for males, one for females, and one for everyone.

It helps you to identify what you’ve been trying to live-up-to. For example, for males there may be an expectation to “be masculine” or to “like sports”. These expectations may, in some way, be holding you back, or helping to keep an issue alive in your mind, or in some way feed some other problem.

When your body has chosen one or more expectations, your body is then asked if it agrees with them. Finally, your body is asked if it feels that you’re able to comply (or live up to) these expectations.

“Decisions I’ve made” is the final list in the Thoughts category.

Illustration

This is one of the more important lists we have.

First your body is asked what kind of decision we’re talking about. Is it...

  • About how I feel
  • About how I view myself
  • About how I view others
  • About how I act or what I do
  • About how I view something
  • About what I remember
  • About what I choose to believe
  • (about something else)

Once your body has revealed what type of decision you have made, you’re asked to think what the specific decision is, and to type it in a box. Usually it’s in some way related to your subject or what you’ve previously been considering in your session.

Finally, you’re asked if you’d like to keep this decision or to change it. If you wish to change it, you’re asked to think of what decision you’d like instead.

Take a look

Please take a look at the Thoughts lists. If you want, you could pretend that you’re doing a session, and test one or two of the lists.

Please go to the session page.

Emotions

Finally, we come to the Emotions. This is a chart that lists 40 emotions. It’s like a “catch all” when none of the other lists have what your body wants to say.

Illustration

This chart categorises almost all of the emotions we humans feel. It’s cleverly designed.

Illustration

There are eight main categories of emotions.

These are shown in GREEN TEXT. You can see here we have Joy, Energy, Connection, and so on.

Each word in has an opposite word.

The opposite word is directly on the opposite side of the chart. For example, at the top we have “euphoria”, and at the bottom we have it’s opposite, “despair”. Clearly “euphoria” and “despair” are opposites.

Also look at “fanaticism”, with it’s opposite, “exhaustion”. Clearly you can’t be fanatical about something and exhausted at the same time, although one may lead to the other.

There are also related words that are diagonally opposite.

For example, the diagonally opposite word to both “euphoria” and “despair” is “hysteria” (on the far left). Clearly you can be hysterical over something because you love it so much, or hysterical over something because you hate it so much! Hence the word “hysteria” is a related word to both euphoria and despair.

The software guides you.

The chart is very clever. But please don’t worry if you think it looks complicated! The software on the session page will guide you through the words on the chart so you don’t have to work out the opposite or related words yourself.

The software will direct you to ask your body to choose from the major words on the chart: “Fanaticism”, “Joy”, “Energy”, and so on. Then when you click on the chosen category, underneath it loads up more words for you to test.

And so it goes on. The software will guide you.

What if English isn’t my first language?

We understand that some people didn’t grow up with English. So, next to each word is a simple dictionary definition of the word, to help you understand what it means.

Some words have more than one meaning in English, so the software shows you which definition we use.

Take a look

Please take a look at the emotions chart and get to know it. Play around with it, see how it works.

Please go to the session page and immediately look at the Emotions chart.

Congratulations

You have completed all the major parts of Self-Rewiring therapy!

You have learned about:

  • Choosing a subject,
  • Look at my past,
  • Look at someone,
  • The techniques, and
  • All the lists.

Just like learning to drive, you’ve learned how to read signs, turn corners, negotiate roundabouts, parallel park, and not destroy your car in the process. Now all you need to learn is what to do when the unexpected comes up, and how to stop the car!

What’s next

In the next two short chapters, you’ll finish learning how to do sessions.

Chapter review

  • The Thoughts lists help you to see where you’re stuck, and what role your personality plays in your problem.
  • It also helps you identify beliefs about yourself, what expectations you’re trying to live up to, and which decisions are contributing to your problem.
  • The Emotions chart helps you to identify what you are feeling in great detail via related and opposite words.